#whoami

I am both soft and hard, I pierce with my gaze and my truth, sometimes bad temper, slice you like a thin knife, thin cuts that hurt, those words that bounce across the walls, words like bouncing balls, screaming back at you, back at you, I have your back, bones and skin, I am all in, never half hearted, a jar full of spices, exploding with flavours within, smoked paprika, oregano, cumin, coriander, always sharp, never blunt, I will take you in my arms like you’ve never been held, slow cooking, slow loving, that slow song that hits to the core, piano jamming off beat, acoustic guitar on a sunny, lazy Sunday afternoon, water that’s boiling, that gargling sound of revolt, never compliant, never complicit, that mature alto note that never fits in, high energy, turn up the volume, fizzing, sizzling, fizzling away sometimes, high temperature that suddenly drops then stubbornly rises, I will not give in, I will not give in, I will not give in, I will never hum the sound of defeat, dancing to the drum of this earth, raw, rough, sharp around the edges, grounded within, bare feet, stumping, frizzy hair, this scratching, this aching, this yearning to live, to love, to burn, the softness of acknowledgment, sweet honey dissolving in warm tea, the human condition, weak, flawed, restless, resting flawed in its beauty, a bruised flower, the scent of lavender, both soothing and uncomfortable, sweet chilli, pineapple that’s rough on the tongue, bright smile, punchy humour, if I were a colour I’d be neon yellow melting into black, black melting into punchy red, thoughts like thunderstorms, multiple and all at once, short circuit sometimes, the creative power of persistence at times when all the lights go off. Tell me how to switch off. I am soft cookies baked with feelings, tell me how to switch off. A hard body softening, lying on the floor, staring at the stars, the contradiction of a rationally minded, pulsing, still pulsing, heart.